


The dreaming

by ajproctor



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28914375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajproctor/pseuds/ajproctor
Summary: Kath can’t stop thinking about her new psychiatrist.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone so I know I started writing the Joan x oc x Jodie fic but honestly it’s going nowhere and I started writing this which I feel way more confident about. I might update it one day but for now I hope you enjoy this fic :) 
> 
> Ps. I haven’t written smut in a longggg time so sorry if it’s bad 😂

Kath walked behind Miss Miles, keeping a cautious distance. Every corridor in this prison looked the same yet she felt she could lead the way to Dr Miller’s office with her eyes closed. After all, although she hadn’t known him long, it’s where she felt the safest. Nobody tried to get at her, try and ebb the truth out of her, whatever the truth was... she just talked to him about what was on her mind and he listened without judgement. She liked it. 

Even when the conversation got tricky, he would calm her down. She felt this sense of calmness already as they approached the office, Miss Miles knocking at the door. It began to open from inside and Kath was ready for Dr Miller’s usual cheery welcome when she was greeted by a much softer vision. 

"Joan Ferguson to see you". Miss Miles reminded the unfamiliar woman. Kath shivered, the name always having hurt her somewhere... somewhere deep inside that knew that’s who she truly was but she didn’t know why the officers had to KEEP using the name, especially with people she had never met. 

The woman was of average height, very feminine as her navy blue blouse fit round the curve of her shoulders in which her rich blonde hair ran down. Her perfume hit Kath’s nose when she opened the door wider for her to enter. 

"Hey, come in", she spoke with an equally feminine voice, though it had a lowkey growl that sent Kath’s nerves into overload. 

Thanking Miss Miles before closing the door, she walked past Kath who stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, the surroundings making her feel at ease, though she couldn’t push away the inevitable confusion. 

"Wh-who are you?" Kath finally piped up, her voice shaky with a new found anxiety. She found her body wanting to run out of the room, to search for Dr Miller until she found him but she was soon to find that she wouldn’t be able to. 

"I’m Dr Lori Wilson, it’s nice to meet you... take a seat". 

Dr Wilson seemed nice enough, she smiled at Kath which was a rarity in here but those words left an empty feeling in Kath which she couldn’t shake. She shook her head in unison.

"Where’s Dr Miller, I need Dr Miller". 

Kath looked both ways and around the room again, hardly noticing Dr Wilson taking few steps towards her in an attempt to stop her fretting with her quivering hands. 

"Dr Miller left, I’ll be taking over from him". 

The new Dr took Kath’s hands which is where Kath finally saw her in front of her. She snatched her hands away, giving Wilson a look of rejection. She wiped them on her hoodie, stumbling towards the door though she had formed a lack of navigation. 

Wilson immediately made it her mission to help Kath and coax her towards the chair before she hurt herself. Not being able to think rationally, Kath accepted the help and sat down, only looking down. 

"Kath, I’m here.. I’m not Dr Miller, not by a long shot but I’m here to help you, okay?" 

Strangely, this woman’s voice soothed Kath and little by little she lifted her head and nodded. She met with Dr Wilson’s kind smile which did remind her of Dr Millers, though she couldn’t help but stare at the plumpness of her fuchsia lips which dangled like a bait in front of Kath’s eyes. 

She moved away and sat opposite Kath, behind the desk that used to be Dr Millers. Nothing had changed much, just the Dr. Kath brought herself to raise her head, in the chance that the fish tank might still be there but all that remained was a space where it used to be. 

This made Kath incredibly anxious, she gnawed away at her fingers with her thumb, trying to picture the fish tank still being there as it had always consoled her. She tried to remember the strategies Dr Miller had taught her in times of worry but of course she couldn’t think. 

Tears fleeced Kath’s eyes when she wondered how she was going to feed the fish she had captured as her own, the one she kept behind the books on the shelf in her cell. She came to the conclusion that it would die or she’d have to put it out of it’s misery before it’s time which terrified her to the point of her brain dissociating from the fact. 

Dr Wilson tried to reach whatever Kath was staring at but got lost within the look of despair that graced Kath’s whole being. She was having some sort of internal dialogue securing a place in her head and Wilson wanted to be the one to pull her out of it. 

"Kath, what’s wrong, what are you looking at?" 

All attention suddenly turned to the stranger in front of Kath. She could still hear the hum in her ears that told her the worst was to come once she left this room but at least she wasn’t completely void of realisation. 

"Th-the fish tank. It’s not there.. anymore". 

Dr Wilson saw the empty space and remembered that it did say in the reports Dr Miller had written, that Kath had been extremely drawn to the fish in his office. 

"That’s right, he must’ve taken them with him when he left". Wilson mused which left Kath in a state of hopelessness, though she was glad the fish were okay, wherever they and Dr Miller were. 

Kath hardly had any time to think before she shook her head, not accepting what the Dr was saying because it didn’t apply to her own problem. She had wanted to keep her pet fish a secret so the officers didn’t take her away. Vera would definitely take it away but she would rather have that than have the fish die. 

"You don’t understand, I, I took one of the fish, she’s mine now and she needs feeding, how can I feed her when there’s no fish food here?" 

Dr Wilson thought, trying to take in what had happened. It was a simple breach of the rules and either a mistake on Miller’s part for not seeing that she had taken the fish or he had knowledge of it and didn’t do anything. If Kath had been any other prisoner, she would have made her aware that it’s against the rules and that action would need to be taken but instead she chose to be soft with Kath. Whether that was a conscious decision or not as she naturally felt inclined to help Kath as much as she could, Dr Wilson simply nodded. 

"I’ll bring in some food and whatever you need for the fish. I’m sure you are very careful with her so just keep on being careful, we’ll figure it out, okay?" 

Like a child’s, Kath’s eyes lit up as she sat more eagerly, surprised but happy that she was able to keep her fish. She was starting to tell that Dr Wilson was a kind, understanding woman, even if she wasn’t Dr Miller and so she decided to give just a little inch. 

"Thank you, that means a lot to me and I’ll pay for everything". 

Struggling to find the right words, Kath was relieved when Dr Wilson smiled as if she was more than happy to help. She then began to wonder if she even had any money to pay her with. 

"Don’t worry about the money, food is cheap enough". 

The two women made equal grounded eye contact for a moment before Dr Wilson opened up her file to reference to when speaking to Kath. 

"I see that Dr Miller spent a lot of time with you to work on the regaining of your memory and how to deal with it when a memory occurred", she started. 

Now it was Kath’s turn to nod. She hadn’t relaxed completely but she was a little more alert than she had been. 

"He also helped me to feel connected to my surroundings and with the people around me? Not remembering, I find it hard to know who I can trust and who I can’t trust. I also feel a huge burden of anxieties that he was teaching me to get a hold of, I don’t know if it’s associated with my amnesia or whether it was already there.."

Dr Wilson listened to Kath speak, each little word and syllable that sounded so incredibly thought through by her. 

"Yes, I’m familiar with the grounding exercises that Dr Miller wrote down for me to do with you, it’s a common practice in coping with anxiety. Being in prison especially when you’re suffering with amnesia must be extremely daunting, how have you been doing for the past few days?" 

"I haven’t been especially good or bad... it’s the same day every day in here. And I don’t know how I know that because I don’t know what a regular day would usually look like for me on the outside. I just... know there’s... something more? Out there? Somewhere?"

Kath replied with such a sadness that made it hard for Lori not to go over and give her a hug. She had learnt not to give in to her natural sympathetic instincts when it came to psychical contact with patients but sometimes their stories tugged at her so much, it was difficult for the empath to stay in tact. 

They talked for a little longer before Wilson was satisfied that she had everything she needed for now from Kath and Kath was ready to go back. After all, she could tell that Kath wasn’t ready to open up to a complete stranger which was understandable given that she had put so much of her trust into the previous doctor. 

"If you have any worries at all, come and see me. I’ll book you in for this time next week anyway to check your progress, of course feel free to come and have a chat any time, alright?" Dr Wilson’s enthusiastic demeanour filled the room with brightness as Kath accepted and watched her stand up then lean over the desk to quickly tap in the appointment on the computer. 

"Yes, I will". 

For a split second, Kath looked around the intricate shape of Wilson’s body, though it soon made her feel uncomfortable, as if Dr Wilson wasn’t something to be looked at so much. 

"Right. I’ll see you soon, I hope". Dr Wilson finished and walked a completely taken away Kath to the door where Miss Miles was waiting. 

"Thank you, again. I know you’re not Dr Miller but you’re... decent. Friendly. I appreciate that as not everyone in here is... like you". 

Again, Kath found it hard to articulate what she meant to say but Dr Wilson valued the compliment. 

"I try", Wilson laughed a little and then smiled radiantly at Kath who unknowingly found herself admiring the way her cheeks rose with every growing stretch of her mouth. 

"Thank you, that’s lovely of you to say. Bye Kath". 

The door opened and Miss Miles gestured for Kath to come along with her. Kath smiled back at Wilson and said goodbye. She wasn’t sure if it was exactly a successful session but she sure felt good. The question was, why? 

__________________________________

That same night, Kath climbed into bed, glad to embrace the cool sheets that laid upon her, soon to be raised by her legs which moved up slightly once she was in dreaming. 

She was still in bed but it wasn’t her own. It was a bed in a house she thought she might have been in before. The comfort of the bed felt like second nature to get into, especially when laying beneath the woman who then got on top of her; bracing her body with her own. 

Kath recognised the woman as Dr Wilson but before she had time to question it, Wilson’s lips were on hers with a fierceness she had never imagined before. There was no talking, just the two women kissing and feeling the heat rise within them as the Dr began to grind against Kath’s thigh which rode up with each light glide. 

Kath could feel herself throbbing beneath the blonde, hearing her moans through the realms of dream. Her chest heaved in and out, waiting while Wilson quickly gathered herself and started kissing her inner thigh. 

She got closer and closer to Kath’s aching centre before she dipped her fingers into the wetness and started to rub. Kath felt the warmth of it rush through her, she thought she was going to come and all of a sudden, she awoke with a shock. 

The now needy woman laid with her head propped up by the pillow that had made its way upwards as Kath had squirmed in her sleep. She wondered if she had actually come, could feel herself dripping though she was craving something she couldn’t quite understand. 

If she wasn’t so confused, she might have done something about the pond between her legs. All she could do was lay and think, what was that and what did it mean? Why was Dr Wilson in her dream?


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of days passed and Kath couldn’t quench the tightness of her stomach, the closing of her throat every time she saw Dr Wilson. 

She had seen her everywhere - in the corridors, in and outside her office when Kath had gone to the library, actually in the library, walking out for lunch with a couple of officers, they seemed to be friends. 

Something inside of Kath kept telling her to go up to Dr Wilson and start a conversation but she didn’t know how to. What would the reason be, she wasn’t as incapable as she used to be and she didn’t want to appear that way either. 

Another thing was that she had dreamt of her a second time since the first dream. It wasn’t as... vivid as the first one but she was there with Kath. They were in someone else’s house, talking but when Kath woke up, she couldn’t remember what they had discussed. However, she did remember Dr Wilson wading over to her and kissing her gently, her palms planted on both of Kath’s flushed cheeks. It was a kiss of reassurance. And as usual, she wasn’t sure why. 

All she knew was that she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The time soon came where Kath was due for her appointment. She hadn’t taken Dr Wilson up on her offer of seeing her beforehand, simply because she still hadn’t figured out what her admiration towards the woman was. It made her feel awkward, almost as if she was annoying Wilson if she was to approach her for any other reason than to be her patient. 

As soon as she walked in, she felt a breath of fresh air clear her lungs, in contrast to the couple of fish swimming in a smaller, yet still a tank that replaced the old one. 

"You got some fish", Kath marvelled at the golden creatures. She leaned over slightly to watch them, dazzled by how care free they were as one of them seemed to approach her to say hello. 

"Yeah, you inspired me". Dr Wilson grinned, seeing how content Kath was, putting her hands in her pockets. "I named them Penny and Pearl", she added which Kath found somewhat cute. She circulated this into a laugh as she continued to look at the fish. "Those are pretty names", she glanced up at Dr Wilson, back into the water then she stood up properly. 

"Why thank you. I had lots of fish growing up. My brother had all sorts, even a piranha at one point". Wilson made her way to her desk and shuffled some papers as she spoke. 

Kath sat down too and listened to what Wilson had to say. It wasn’t an exciting conversation by any means but she found herself enjoying the light heartedness of it. And she got to learn more about the beautiful blonde. 

"We had other pets too, birds, turtles, many, many breeds of cats and rabbits. We also had this hugeeee German shepherd called Buster, he was the best. When he was a puppy i used to sneak him into my room but I couldn’t get away with it when he was a hundred pounds of big smelly dog". 

Wilson’s story brought a sense of normality to Kath who had heard nothing but her own thoughts pretty much for the past week. She wished she was able to reply with a snippet from her own childhood but it just wasn’t there for her to tell. 

Perhaps Wilson noticed this as she sat the papers flat on the desk and inhaled a sunny breath.

"How’s your week been, Kath?" She asked. Kath cleared her throat, trying to think a positive answer. She could confide in Dr Miller all she wanted but here, she didn’t want to sound like a drag. 

Noticing that Kath was holding back, Dr Wilson went round to sit in the spare chair beside Kath. Without expecting it, Kath jumped a little at the hand which was placed comfortingly on her knee. Her fingers were like flowers budding on the teal material, Kath could feel them through it and swiftly imagined them tracing her bare skin. 

Her heart raced, she opened her mouth and closed it again only to not fully hear what Wilson was saying to her. 

"You can tell me anything, it’s what I’m here for", Dr Wilson encouraged her to open up, though she wouldn’t push her too far. The only thing Kath had had on her mind was Wilson and she could hardly tell her that. 

"I think... I think some of the women are starting to leave me alone. There’s still a lot of hatred for me or for Joan, I don’t know. I think I made a couple of friends in my unit but I can’t help but feel like a burden".

Dr Wilson tilted her head slightly, preparing herself to listen and understand when she asked the question. 

"Why do you feel like a burden?" 

"Sometimes I feel like they’re trying to protect me which I’m grateful for but I wish I could just... I wish I could just be normal. I see the other inmates with each other and I want that closeness, I want the connection. I don’t want to be someone they’re afraid of or feel they have to help me in some way, I just want to... be. Do you understand what I mean?"

"You’re not a burden", Dr Wilson said almost immediately, tapping her hand on the same spot it was before which sparked something in Kath for that half second. "And I understand completely. But what you have to understand is that they don’t know that you feel this way. Friendship works both ways, you need to start the conversation. Tell a joke, share a story, help them with something. Don’t be afraid to open yourself up to them. By doing that, you will get a better understanding of who you are. And by you, I mean Kath. Not Joan. Just you". 

Dr Wilson’s positivity would’ve made Joan livid but Kath devoured every single word. She nodded, truly seeing the blueness of her eyes in the sunlight then accidentally looking down to her cleavage. Kath gulped slightly and felt a coldness brace her when Wilson removed her hand from her leg. 

Before Kath had looked away, Dr Wilson could nearly feel herself falling into the depths of Kath’s coal eyes, trying to find the colour in them. And she didn’t completely fail for there was one glint of hope that she hoped to bring out to its full luminosity. 

"Have you had any flashbacks?" She then asked. 

Kath slowly shook her head. There had been none since the last - she then remembered that in the dream she had been in a house she recognised. Did that count? She thought it did so she gave Dr Wilson a look of that remembrance. 

"I saw myself in a house... that’s it", she told her. "I think it might have been Joan’s". 

Dr Wilson was glad to hear that it wasn’t exactly a bad flashback. Though over time, these neutral images tend to piece together the bigger picture. And she had a feeling that Kath’s past wasn’t something she necessarily needed to remember. 

Once the session was over, Kath wrapped her hand around the small pot of fish food given to her by Dr Wilson. She felt happy that she had remembered to bring it, she wouldn’t have liked to keep asking. But most of all, she wondered if she was on Dr Wilson’s mind as much as Dr Wilson was on her’s. 

__________________________________

"Dr Wilson!" Vera called out as she caught up with Wilson who was heading out of the prison by the yard. Wilson spun round to see the smaller woman, a warm smile gracing her lips. "Call me Lori", she reminded her. Vera ignored her as she walked by her side. 

"How are you getting on with Ferguson?” She asked, without asking how the new doctor was getting along herself. "You mean Kath Maxwell", Lori made a point to correct Vera. She felt slightly irritated but kept it to herself when Vera rolled her eyes and gave a little unconvinced smile. "Very well. She was wary at first but I think she’s coming round and I certainly enjoy talking to her". 

Vera frowned at Lori’s words, she enjoyed talking to Joan? She resorted to crossing her arms and stopping where they were stood, almost outside the last gate. 

"Ferguson is playing you", Vera started. "She did the same with Dr Miller and everybody else who don’t know her like I do so please just be careful", Vera made sure to add that last part as to cave some humanity into what she had said, though Lori didn’t look convinced. 

"I’m the physiatrist, I think I’ll make my own mind up". Lori replied before continuing to walk out. 

Kath watched this ordeal from the yard as Marie had persuaded her to join her, Reb and Lou. She liked the fresh air but was nervous around so many of the women so tried to keep her attention on other things, including the cute psychiatrist. She wondered what she and Vera were talking about, especially when there was an exchanged of rolling eyes and annoyed looks. Did they not get along? 

Her pursed lips and wandering eyes followed Lori out of the prison, you could see just a small part of the outside world from where Kath was sat, just the car park and a few trees. 

When Lori reached a silver car, a woman got out of it and approached her. They talked for a second, intertwining their hands before they wrapped around each other’s waists. The taller, dark haired woman leaned in and kissed Lori loosely on the lips, Lori retaliating with a deeper kiss before they said something else and got in the car. 

Kath didn’t know if she was shocked or intrigued. The world around her seemed to stop for a moment, it had all been drained out as all she could do was stare at the two women. What was this feeling, she had suddenly felt such a distrust and she didn’t know why. It was like she was disappointed... hurt. Why did she feel that way? 

The whole day and night she wrestled with this, trying to wrap her head around it. She did this until she couldn’t bear it any longer, needing to get some sleep. But of all she saw in dreams was a mirage of some sort. Of Vera, of Marie, of the woman kissing Lori... and Lori.


End file.
